As many students begin their school year they, and parents, may be concerned about bullying. Stopbullying.gov provides a lot of information about bullying, and what you can do to address and prevent it. According to this website research suggests that children and teens that are bullied over time experience mental health issues, specifically depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. They also are more likely to be lonely and want to avoid school. In addition McLean Hospital identifies loss of self-confidence, increased self-criticism, and increased self-isolation, as impacts of bullying. 

How Common is Bullying

Stopbullying.gov provides the following statistics on the frequency of bullying and cyberbullying: 

• Nationwide, about 22% of students ages 12–18 experienced bullying
• Nationwide, 15.0% of students in grades 9–12 report being bullied on school property in the last 12 months
• Nationwide, about 16 percent of students in grades 9–12 experienced cyberbullying
• Nationwide,15.9% of high school students were electronically bullied in the 12 months prior to the survey

What is bullying

While we may all have our own understanding of what bullying is, it is defined as unwanted and aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying can be verbal, physical, or social/relational. Behavior that may be considered bullying includes: making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

When discussing bullying it is important to understand that children and teens can play many roles in bullying situations. It is important to know and understand the multiple roles in order to effectively prevent and respond to bullying. While we may not think we or our children are playing a role in bullying, knowing the various roles will aid in understanding everyone’s role, and how to address and support our children. Stopbullying.gov identifies these six roles 

• Kids who bully
• Kids who are bullied 
• Kids who assist 
• Kids who reinforce 
• Outsiders
• Kids who defend

How to Prevent Bullying 

Stopbullying.gov shares several steps on how to prevent bullying. To begin, parents and other caring adults, including school personnel, can help children and teens understand bullying. Start by explaining what bullying is and give examples, such as: 

• Teasing
• Talking about hurting someone
• Spreading rumors
• Leaving kids out on purpose
• Attacking someone by hitting them or yelling at them

Encourage kids to identify several trusted adults they can confide in to tell what is taking place and to report bullying. Keep the lines of communication open and ask about your child’s day with specific questions, such as 

• What was one good thing that happened today? Any bad things?
• What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with? What do you talk about?
• What is it like to ride the school bus?
• What are you good at? 
• What do you like best about yourself?

It is also important to model respect and kindness. Give examples of each and point out to children when you notice them or others being respectful and kind. PBS and Harper Collins provide tips to help teach children respect and kindness. 

How to Respond to Bullying 

According to Stopbullying.gov there are simple steps adults can take to stop bullying immediately and keep kids safe.

Do:

• Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help.
• Separate the kids involved.
• Make sure everyone is safe.
• Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
• Stay calm. Reassure the kids involved, including bystanders.
• Model respectful behavior when you intervene.

Avoid these common mistakes:

• Don’t ignore it. Don’t think kids can work it out without adult help.

• Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.

• Don’t force other kids to say publicly what they saw.

• Don’t question the children involved in front of other kids.

• Don’t talk to the kids involved together, only separately.

• Don’t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot.

Resources 

The two websites linked in this article are excellent resources for parents. In addition, Teach offers information for educators and parents related to bullying and cyberbullying, and Committee for Children provides more information on how to understand what bullying looks like and how to stop it.

The beginning of the school year is often busy and can be emotional for parents and children. If you are worried about bullying or want to learn more about it, please check out the resources in this article. We hope you find them useful.